100thousand Black pros

   Daddy Wasn’t There

The Effects of Absentee Fathering

 Will the REAL Black Men PLEASE stand up?

A young Black woman filled with rage stamps front stage. Pointing her fingers and waving her hands she riles a diverse audience. A series of censored profanities surge from her vocals. After a well executed made for reality TV drama scene, she anxiously awaits the object of frustration. A Black male then emerges. The crowd veraciously demonstrates disapproval of the alleged absent father, but the male is unperturbed by the crowd’s hostility. Raising his hands in celebration of manhood, the defendant is ready to repeal all allegations of neglectful parenting. After infinite minutes of see-sawing victimization, a classified envelope is delivered to the couple’s mediator. The audience gasps as the well groomed TV host announces the infamous words, “YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER!” The male rejoices at the evasion of responsibility, while yet another innocent child has to suffer the effects of absentee fathering. The child must learn to adjust to a cruel reality: Daddy wasn’t the

Cultural Expectation

For centuries the American culture has mislead populations to believe that parental male involvement is inessential to child development. Validated by psychological theories, a mother’s innate ability to care for her child ranked superior against male counterparts. ⁷ These theories however neglect to address generational bastardhood.⁵ Psychologist define absence as: away, not present, lacking missing or inattentive.⁸ While many will argue that the mere existence of a silent provider resolves the complexities of child rearing, modern research provides that this is not true. The meager presence of a male figure does not substantiate emotional and psychological needs of developing minds. Researchers have found that children need the attentive presence of their fathers to gain confidence and boost intelligence.⁸

Psychologist Sigmund Freud glorified the absence of male parental involvement by noting in self-reflection that the psyche of male persuasion is so strong that it dispels unspoken correction and reprimand. Freud’s principles were strongly influenced by Judeo-Christianity under the premise that God, the Heavenly Father and all his omniscience reigns as a spiritual being; however His lack of earthly proximity does not impede authority.⁵ Catholicism immortalizes the Virgin Mary as a central figure, an exemplar of impeccable maternal relevance needing no male supplement.

Not only has the immortal strength of motherhood diminished the relevancy of paternal involvement via religion, but absenteeism has become a cultural norm. In a study of 719 adolescent mothers, 41.9 % of African-American mothers reported low paternal involvement after birth. A trailing 26.2% of Mexican-Americans reported low male involvement and 19.4% Caucasian.⁹ Many researchers attribute the increase of paternal absenteeism to broken family structures.⁸ Relationship duration and stability and planned pregnancy impacts fatherhood commitment. Relationships of 12 months or less placed children at increased risk for father abandonment. African-American men are more likely than Whites and Mexican-Americans to father outside of marriage. Despite vast conception, African-Americans were least likely to desire children but more likely to report unplanned pregnancy.⁹

 Additional factors influencing male modeling include immaturity, poverty, self-esteem, cultural expectation, coping skills and perception of fatherhood. Black males were also more likely than Caucasian and Mexican-Americans to father a younger age. At the time of delivery, Black males were more likely to be in high school or jail. Gang and criminal involvement and illegal drug usage was strongly associated with absenteeism among Mexican and African Americans. Educational attainment was a plaguing factor against financial support among Black men. Intimate Partner Violence was also central to lack of financial contribution. Black women were less likely to report being engaged, married or romantically involved with the child’s father. While, African-American women conceive children with undesired men, they are less likely than any other race to accept interracial dating.⁹

Locked Up

Incarceration creates a unique set of circumstances for families. An estimated 1.5 million children have at least one parent in prison. Of this populous, 94% have fathers in prison. A parallel 93% of incarcerated fathers will be released. Around 600,000 men will struggle to reconnect with families post annual release. A massive 67.5 percent will be rearrested within three years. Analysts link recidivism to the lack of familial ties. Harsh prison culture teaches inmates unruly social skills. Antisocial and selfish attitudes make it difficult for inmates to reconnect with family.  Identity theorists lend that prison interrupts identity establishment resulting in fragmented and unsettled fatherhood validation. The identification process of fathers in prison is especially crucial due to the lack of physical proximity.⁴

                Effective parenting is not a priority behind prison walls, thus many jailed fathers abandon paternal roles further decreasing the inability to reconnect with their children after release. Unresponsive parenting increases the probability that children will engage in socially offensive behaviors.⁴ Children that lack positive coping skills end up in the criminal justice system. Imprisoned and formerly imprisoned fathers are less likely to demonstrate acceptable behavior. Principles of sharing and politeness are charges of parental fostering; however, fathers cannot effectively parent behind bars. Maladaptive behavior during adolescence proved to be consistent in predicting adult criminality. Childhood and adolescent predictors to criminality are likely to discount quality of life. Such identification markers decrease engagement of future parental roles, educational attainment and employment.⁶

Baby Mama Drama

                Identity is established through role confirmation. An individual chooses an identity based on environment and associated expectations. These norms set an identity standard. Identity standards are negotiated based on environment. Identity settlement is reinforced by approval or rejection of an assigned role. Individuals engage in activities that result in acceptance. Individuals of close associations have the strongest impact on role assignment and subsequent behaviors.⁴ The Neo-Freudian transition holds that even in physical absence, a mental representation of a father is evident. This representation is conjured by the mother’s conscious and unconscious perceptions of the father. Mothers set the tone for how the child perceives the absent figure.⁵  Reinforced by cultural norms, many fathers feel as if they are an insignificant contribution to child development, thus a number of males struggle to select an identity as a father. Poor relations with the child’s mother reinforce lowered self-efficacy. The lack of identity leads to behaviors unsupportive of a father’s role. Discrepancy between reality and social norms create anxiety. Discombobulation deters male involvement. Where perceived inability to assume a fatherly role exists, males cannot successfully adopt the identification of a father.⁴

Papa was a Rolling Stone

In the words of the immortal Tupac, “A poor single mother on welfare, tell me how you did it?” In translation these lyrics from Dear Mama demonstrate the difficulty for mothers to raise children without paternal involvement. Welfare programs have been enacted to address generations of fatherless youth; however as the number of single-headed households increase, welfare reform decreases. Mothers are left alone to mother and father. “I finally understand, that for a woman, it ain’t easy tryin to raise a man.” (Tupac) Will the real men please stand up? The Feminist movement has instilled that women can do it all with one hand tied behind their backs, blind folded, hopping on one foot and most importantly without a man. It is a commonality in the Black community for fathers to be absent. Women have no choice but to do it all, but at what cost to the children? Single, female-headed households experience the highest poverty rates. Children of maternally operated homes are also at increased risk to crime, victimization of crime, gang and drug involvement. The incredible acts of providing nurturing and protecting not only diminishes the quality of supervision but promotes physical and mental impairment. Overburdened mothers report higher rates of depression, suicidal tendencies and substance abuse. Children of disorganized family structures are also more likely to suffer abuse at the hands of the caregiver.¹

Researches have noted that parental male involvement is especially crucial to adolescent development. In a case study of single mothers with adolescent aged children, a majority of participants agreed that parenting is more effective when the primary caregiver has financial, social and emotional support from the child’s father and family members.⁹ A research conducted in 1974 found that a large number of African-American women pulled together to address, low-income, joblessness, single-parenting and inadequate government assistance. Although internal support networks have addressed issues surrounding enigmas of absentee fathering, such ties further create an economic strain for servicing individuals. Women tended to give what they could not afford to give cementing the permanence of poverty.³

Spoiled Little Mama’s Boys

The primary responsibilities of fathers are to support the primary caregiver and children and provide protection. Freud stated that there was no need as urgent as a father’s protection. As a measure of protection, fathers lay down the lay. A father’s rigid regulations secure the emotional well-being of a child, buffering him from the engulfment of a mother’s love. Without boundaries, mothers tend to obsess for the child’s well-being. This obsession is necessary for infant survival; however it becomes a dysfunctional practice as the child ages.⁷

Overachieving Girls have Everything but Love

Researchers found that females of absent fathers experienced high levels of insecurity and anxiety. Women reported feeling as if something was missing from their lives and envied others who had a fatherly presence. Females detached from their fathers also revealed having difficulty with intimate relationships. The compulsive urge to seek recognition through achievement was often driven by feelings of inadequacy.⁸

For many years social sciences, religion, cultural and societal norms have diminished the value of male parental involvement. Contrary to popular belief, fathers matter. Children need paternal input to flourish. The mere presence of a male authority is not enough. Any form of psychological and physical absence can be harmful to the well-being of the child and mother. Fathers must adopt a fatherly identity and engage in correlating behaviors. Due to unforeseen circumstances, some children will never experience an ordered family structure, thus men must intercede on behalf of absent parents. It is unresolved to complain about the state of the world and do nothing to change it. Will the REAL Black men PLEASE stand up? Put down your guns and dime bags and pick up your child.

1.       Bloom, L. & Sawin, P. (2009). Ethical responsibility in feminist research: Challenging ourselves to do activist research with women in poverty. International Journal of Qualitative Studies in Education, 22(3), 333-351.

2.       Clark, L., O’Brien, M., Day, R., Godwin, H., Connolly, J., Hemmings, J., & Leeson, T., (2005). Fathering behind bars in English prisons: Imprisoned fathers’ identity & contact with their children. A Journal of Theory, Research and Practice about Men as Fathers, 3(3), 221-241.

3.       Curley, A. (2009). Draining or gaining? The social networks of public housing movers in Boston. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 26(23) 227-247.

4.       Dyer, W. (2005). Prison, fathers and identity: A theory of how incarceration affects men’s paternal identity. Fathering: A Journal of Theory, Research & Practice about Men as Fathers, 3 (3) 201-219.

5.       Freeman, T. (2008). Psychoanalytic concepts of Fatherhood. Patriarchal paradoxes and the presence of an absent authority.  Studies in Gender and Sexuality, 9, 113-139.

6.       Leschied, Chiodo, Nowicki & Rodger (2008). Childhood predictors of adult criminality: A meta-analysis drawn from the prospective longitudinal literature. Julliet, 50.4, 435-467.

7.       Mayes, L., Swain, J. & Leckman, J. (2005). Parental attachment systems: Neural circuits, genes and experiential contributions to parental engagement. Clinical Neuroscience Research, 4, 301-313.

8.       Stephenson, D. & Loewenthal (2006). The effect on counseling/psychotherapy practice of an absent father in the therapists childhood: A heuristic study. Psychodynamic Practice, 12(4) 435-452.

9.       Wiemann, C. Agurcia, C. Rickert, V., Berenson, A. & Volk, R. (2006). Absent fathers as providers: Race/Ethnic differences in support for adolescent mothers. Child and Adolescent Social Work Journal, 23(5-6) 617-634.